Lots of Screwy NFL Things

The NFL season officially begins in 10 days when the Tennessee Titans travel to take on the Pittsburgh Steelers at Heinz Field. The only NFL talk going on right now should be preview-related; you know, who's going to the Super Bowl, who's winning MVP, all that nonsense that nobody can really predict (yes, sadly, including us) but try to anyway.

So why, every time you turn on your TV, is there another NFL storyline?

A few of the odd ones:

Brett Keisel signs an extension with the Steelers. I'm not one to challenge the Steelers front office; they have amassed 6 Super Bowls and I work at Burger King. It just seems that with their extensive list of 2010 free agents (Willie Parker, Casey Hampton, Hines Ward, Ryan Clark, William Gay, Dan Sepulveda), the Steelers would go out of their way to resign an average defensive end on the downside of his career.

And now Brett Keisel (pictured, left) is going to go to the Pro Bowl.

Ravens put Samari Rolle on the PUP list to start the season. At first glance, odd? No. Then you remember Samari Rolle was actually a free agent this offseason. The Ravens are stacked at cornerback - a recent SI article called their talent at the position "embarrassingly deep" - with starters Fabian Washington and Domonique Foxworth, ex-starter Frank Walker, nickelback Chris Carr and highly touted third round pick Lardarius Webb. Rolle hasn't even practiced yet. Sources close to the team are wondering whether he's going to play at all. So how does that merit the $3 million he's earning this year?

Brandon Marshall, the entire NFL world thinks you're a joke. Josh McDaniels, you're really not far behind. In suspending Brandon Marshall (pictured, right) for a puny 14 days, all McDaniels is doing is keeping him out of preseason and training camp - which nobody wants to go through anyway. Suspend the guy the entire season or trade him for a second round pick to some desperate time. How can you start a guy who basically boycotted training camp merely because he didn't want to be there? It would have been better if he didn't show up. Instead, he's there walking, batting down passes thrown to him, punting balls handed to him. He's six years old, and he gets a slap on the wrist.

Broncos: You're going to be terrible. Kyle Orton is an awful, awful quarterback. I still maintain you got the better end of the Jay Cutler deal - first round draft picks in the NFL are huge. That being said, this year ain't it. Develop Eddie Royal more. Brandon Stokley is serviceable. So is Jabar Gaffney. Point being: your receivers aren't that bad anyway, but it wouldn't matter if Randy Moss and Larry Fitzgerald were lining up for you, anyway. You would still be bad. Crack down on Marshall.

Now that that rant is done, Osi Umenyiora walks out of Giants camp because of a dispute with his defensive coordinator? I think I speak for everyone when I say ... please, please just let the NFL season start so we can have games to talk about.

Image Sources:

http://www.epicathlete.com/images/bodyImage_coachesKeisel.gif

http://www.roblongshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/brandon_marshall_blog1.jpg

Baltimore Ravens: What I Thought I Knew

Now that my heart rate has recovered from a crazy divisional playoff weekend, it's time to do a little posting. This is going to be a 12-part posting about every team in the playoffs. For each team, I am going to do a little post about what I thought I knew, what I know now, and what I expect. 

What I Thought I Knew Heading into the Playoffs: RAVENS

1. It is impossible to move the ball consistently against their defense. Post-divisional round analysis: FALSE

Please don't get me wrong here. The Ravens still have the second best defense in the NFL. However, both the Dolphins, and, to a much larger extent, Titans were able to move the ball on this Baltimore defense, and they did it the same way. Largely forget that running the ball exists, and throw short curls and slants. The reason is two-fold. The Ravens bring exotic blitzes that confuse quarterbacks and offensive lines, but if you get rid of the ball quickly enough, it doesn't matter. The other reason is that these routes will be open, because Samari Rolle and Fabian Washington are both finesse quarterbacks who will play five yards off you at all times. 

2. You can't beat the Ravens deep. Post-divisional round analysis: TRUE

The reason for this is one of the same reasons as number 1. Rolle and Washington both can't tackle anyone to save their souls, but they can run with everyone and don't let anyone get behind them. The bigger reason is that if you throw a ball in-bounds more than 30 yards in the air against the Ravens, it is just as likely to be picked off by Ed Reed, one of the greatest free safeties in NFL history, as caught by one of your receivers. And if Reed picks it off (pictured, above), it's coming back the other way. 

3. Joe Flacco doesn't lose his composure - ever. Post-divisional round analysis: TRUE

Flacco (pictured, right) hasn't been pristine by any means in his first two games. Less than 50% completion rate in his first game, 50% in his second. It hasn't been because he's been rattled, though. Sometimes he's just inaccurate. He's a rookie. It happens. You know he hasn't been rattled because he hasn't turned the ball over once, or even taken a sack yet in the playoffs. Now that's impressive. 

(Photo Credits: AP)